Thursday, 3 December 2015

No Conformity, Only Epicness.

Don't write it like this.

Write it like that.

Put simply, WRITE IT YOUR WAY.

Everyone has chased trends. It's something writers have a tendency of doing. Well, you know what? Put that shit down. Write what you want to write. Write epically.

1. DON'T WRITE WHAT IS SELLING.

If you're writing for trends then that means you aren't making trends...yet. So you haven't made it...yet, right? So how long does it take you to get a novel from, "Ooh, Twilight was great," to "Here's my world changing book on the shelves, IN REAL BOOKSHOPS, Word Hounds!"?

Months. Years. And you know what? That fucking trend has changed. It's gone. You've written a sparkly vampire novel *spits on the floor at your feet*, and dystopian futures with mazes is the thing now. Or tributes. Or whatever. It honestly could be anything. BAM! Unsellable.

2. DON'T CONFORM.

You're in a writer's group. Of course you are. What are they writing? Sparkly vampires. Ah, good. That falls in with the latest trend. *slowly wraps fingers around throat* Didn't you read point 1? Don't write what their writing. Don't write what anybody's writing. "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery," after all. (No it isn't. Not in this business. That's plagiarism.) If you need to imitate, you need to do some serious thinking.

3. MAKE TRENDS AKA WRITE WHAT YOUR HEART TELLS YOU TO.

I was talking to a writer friend of mine about a novel I was writing, and whether it would go well in the hands of an agent. Told, I was, quite rightly (Did I just turn into Yoda?), that because of it's content it would be a hard sell. Sure.

That was two years ago, and I'm still writing it. (Yeah, I know, things happen. But I have successfully had several other novels completed and published in that time.)

It won't be finished until the end of next year, according to my time table. It might be in vogue then. No, better. It might break new ground then.

I will be trend setting. People will imitate me. Um...yay?

The point is, is that I love the novel. It's my fucking opus. I might be working on it for another two years until my heart, my soul, my soles, my shoes, tell me it's done. And when it is, it'll be perfect.

4. MAKE YOURSELF AND OTHER PEOPLE HAPPY.

By doing it your way. Yes. I could write a sparkly vampire novel. I could pull it's rotten, stinking, lifeless story from my word making butthole (my wordbutt). But, I would hate it. With a passion. That's not me. I write what I want. I throw my writing in other peoples faces, shouting things like "READ MY WORDBUTT WISDOM!" and "BLURT MY WRITING", like a drunken Englishman. (Like?)

Where has it gotten me?

I'm now contracted to write a novel for a publisher who liked the idea of it so much, they decided they had to have it.

And you know what that means to me?

I'm writing something, someone wants, because it's mine. I arted it. I created it from my wordbutt.

WRITE WHAT YOU WANT.

WRITE EPICALLY.

REMEMBER:


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